While others say its not true, there is more fact to that saying I thought of so many years ago than any one would want to believe. its not as depressive as it might sound, your perseption is what decides the side of life it can be attributed to. As for how it effects me now? im finding out how others have found who i am and im discovering it slowly and surely; despite the ever continuing pains.

Sarah and I have broke up. So you can say my love life has been shattered. I held my grandma in my hands right when she died; saw my most beloved dog bleed to death; a friend dying of cancer; on and on it goes. Most of the pain is around losing Sarah, but its not so much as me losing her as it is her losing me. Its a long story; all that is to know is im going through hell right now and im not enjoying it. Though i try hard not to be bitter, i cant help but some times lash when i never mean to. Im sorry if I ever snap at one yas, I rlly dont mean to. Aside from the loads of bullshit in mah' life, ive atleast got a job still and ive started mah own business. As to going to England? no, since sarah n i r not together, we r not moving in where we wanted once so no. Will I move some where? probly, since mah business is internet operated; i can tug it with me aslong as I hav an internet connection and a comp to view it. I'm lookin to move out but i dont think im moving anywhere til its with som1 im guna be steying with, which could be awhile, or it could happen pretty soon. All the things i set aside for the move to england have been ditched n is just waitin to be used up for another move at som time, so its not like im out've much besides losing a soul mate who didnt accept somthinh within her. Im just not real sure about how things r going, im taken it day by day. its guna take som pretty special gurl to open me up agian. 3 times is enough. Yeah, i used to be a player, still can be if im not tied down but good god, a guy can only take so much.
just dun want no mo' fukin heart break...

Peace Out

-=Sam=-